Deepest Condolences: 50+ Messages for Friends, Coworkers, and Loved Ones | Cake Blog (2024)

For many, the worst days of their lives occur when someone they love dies. And when you need a comforting word to give them, simply saying "deepest condolences" probably doesn't feel good enough. So how can you convey your sympathy in a better way?

Jump ahead to these sections:

• What Does 'Deepest Condolences' Mean?
• When Should You Offer a Deepest Condolences Message?
• Why is it Important to Share Your Deepest Condolences?
• Tips for Sharing Your Deepest Condolences
• Simple Deepest Condolences Messages
• Condolence Messages for a Coworker
• Condolence Messages from a Group
• Condolence Messages for a Friend
• Condolence Messages for the Loss of a Spouse or Partner
• Condolence Messages for the Loss of a Parent
• Deepest Condolences Quotes
• Deepest Condolences Email Examples
• More Ways to Offer Condolences
• Deepest Condolences FAQ

Many people turn to formal language and offer a condolence message to their friend. This, of course, is entirely appropriate. In fact, we love that the word comes from the Latin word condolens, which means “to suffer with another.” What you are really saying to your friend when you offer condolences is that “we are suffering together.”

As perfect as the word “condolences” is, you may be trying to find an alternative to the word. We don’t blame you as the word does sound particularly formal, and it may be used too often.

Here are some alternatives to the phrase “deepest condolences.”

Tip: It's quickly becoming the norm for families to set up memorial pages in honor of their loved ones who have passed away. A memorial page is a useful tool for sharing funeral or memorial information, as well as giving a touching tribute to the departed. If you're unsure what to say on a memorial page, the messages provided below can help.

What Does 'Deepest Condolences' Mean?

"Deepest Condolences" means "sympathy with another in sorrow." Additionally, it is defined as "an expression of sympathy." The dictionary reminds us that it is usually used in the plural form and is often followed by a possessive word such as "my" or "our."

Although other words are named synonyms for condolence (pity, compassion, commiseration, sympathy), condolence is labeled a "formal expression of grief to one who has suffered a loss."

Most of the time, the word "condolence" is used when someone dies, but it can also refer to other situations perceived as unfortunate. ("The family received condolences when their child was born with a life-threatening disease.")

It can sometimes be used as a modifier, as in "the queen will pay a condolence call to the family of the victims."

Some use the phrase "my condolences" in an attempt at humor. For example, "I called to offer condolences for the Chiefs' loss last night."

Even though the word is sometimes used in other situations, when someone says they are offering "their deepest condolences," they are most likely giving a formal, heartfelt expression of sympathy to someone mourning the death of a loved one.

When Should You Offer a Deepest Condolences Message?

A 'deepest condolences' message should be sent to someone impacted by a death as soon as you find out about the occurrence. Here are some, but certainly not all, of the situations that merit this kind of communication:

• A loved one's, friend's, or coworker's pet dies
• A loved one's, friend's, or coworker's immediate family member dies
• A loved one's, friend's, or coworker's extended family member dies
• A loved one's, friend's or coworker's friend dies

What if the person who lost a loved one or pet is more of an acquaintance? It's still perfectly acceptable to send them a "deepest condolences" message even if you're not close to the person. If the death is public knowledge, then it's appropriate to send a message.

Why is it Important to Share Your Deepest Condolences?

Experiencing the loss of a loved one or pet is some of the deepest pain a person can go through. Though each person experiences loss and grief differently, it's important to reach out to a grieving person and let them know that they're not alone. Here are a few reasons why sharing condolences is beneficial for the person grieving.

Acknowledges the loss

When a loved one or pet passes away, the world effectively stops for those immediately involved. Unfortunately, those who grieve are surrounded by a fast-paced world that does keep turning.

If we don't acknowledge the grief and loss a person is experiencing, they can feel like their loss doesn't matter to anyone else. As a result, they can feel very alone.

By acknowledging the loss, you validate their grief, hurt, and pain. You're also communicating that they're not alone and that you're part of their support system.

Honors the deceased

By acknowledging a loss, you acknowledge that the deceased made an impact on the world. You're telling the grieving that you know their loved one or pet was valuable and important, someone who deserves to be remembered, honored, and have their memory respected.

Encourages the grieving

Grief can feel very isolating if no one else reaches out to those affected by death. By sending a message, whether in a card, text, or email, you're telling your friend or loved one that they're not alone. You're showing them that they have a support system.

Knowing that friends and loved ones care about them and are there for them amidst the grief can provide the type of encouragement they need the most.

Tips for Sharing Your Deepest Condolences

Sharing your deepest condolences can feel like a daunting task, but it doesn't have to. Follow the tips here, and you'll send a message that comforts the grieving.

What to do

• Be sympathetic: Communicate sympathy and sorrow over their loss.
• Communicate your support: Tell them that you're there for them and offer practical support, if possible.
• Share a story: If you knew the deceased, feel free to share a story you think the person would appreciate.
• Include a photo (if applicable): You can also share a photo or two if you knew the deceased and you have a picture of you with them.

What not to do

• Give advice: This is not the time to tell them what the grieving journey will look like. Avoid giving any advice.
• Share about your own losses: Never compare your loss to theirs, and don't use this message to tell them about your own grief journey.
• Asking about the cause of death: There is no need to ask about the cause of death.
• Insert humor: Keep your message respectful and honoring.

Simple Deepest Condolences Messages

When you find out about a death, you might not want to wait to send a card. If you want to send a message right away, these short phrases might be what you need o show someone you care.

• "Our deepest condolences. May the love of those around you help you through the day ahead."
• “Please accept our sympathies on the passing of your mother.”
• “I’m so sorry to hear about your loss. Please know that we are all thinking about you."
• “I would like to extend my heartfelt sympathy over the loss of your husband. I am truly sorry for your loss.”
• “I was deeply saddened to hear about Ben’s passing.”
• “We wanted to reach out and offer our sympathies on the loss of Mike.”
• “We are so sorry to hear that you have a death in the family.”

Condolence Messages for a Coworker

If you are speaking on behalf of a company or a group of coworkers, you might consider using formal language to express sympathy. For example, the word "condolences" would be a great choice in this situation.

Here are some other formal expressions of sympathy that you might share with a boss, client, or coworker.

• "Losing a parent is heartbreaking. Wishing you peace during this difficult time."
• "The entire staff of Williams, Waggle, and Smith would like to offer sincere sympathies on the loss of your mother. We are deeply sorry for your loss."
• "We were so sorry to hear about the loss of your daughter. Thinking of you and your entire family during this heartbreaking time."
• "Our words cannot take away the pain of loss, but we hope you find solace knowing there are people who care about you."
• "We hope the happy memories you have of your grandmother will bring you comfort. Please accept our sincerest sympathies during this difficult time."
• "Thinking of you during this difficult time."
• "The loss of Samantha will be felt by many. We will continue to celebrate her contributions and memories for many years."
• "We are deeply sorry to hear about the passing of your wife. She was a beautiful soul, and we all loved when she stopped by the office. Please allow us to offer our deepest sympathies and know that your work family is beside you."

Condolence Messages from a Group

If you send a condolence message from a group of people, you'll want to make sure to use language that includes the entire group. But here are some alternatives to the phrase “deepest condolences” that you may want to send on behalf of a group of people when sharing sorrow for a loss.

• “We just wanted to let you know that we're thinking of your.”
• “Our hearts go out to your entire family.”
• “Our thoughts and prayers are with you all.”
• “Words seem inadequate at a time like this. All of us at the office want you to know how sorry we are for your loss."
• “We all hope you find comfort in all the special memories you shared with your dad.”

Condolence Messages for a Friend

Whether you need to send some quick online condolences or you're sending a card, these messages are perfect for sending to a friend who has lost a loved one.

• “I love you, friend!”
• “I’m so sorry to hear about your friend. He will truly be missed!”
• “My heart breaks for you! Please know that I am thinking of you and will be here when you need me.”
• “Your mom was an incredible woman. It was an honor to have known her.”
• “I am profoundly saddened by the loss of your brother. He was very special to me and will be missed by many.”
• “May God give you comfort during this difficult time.”
• “Is it ok if I bring a meal to you tomorrow night? How many will be eating at your house?”
• “I know you are hurting right now, but remember to take care of yourself. Eat well, get as much sleep as you are able, and know that I am here to help you with whatever you need.”

Condolence Messages for the Loss of a Spouse or Partner

The loss of a spouse can completely upend someone's world. Their friend, life-long partner, and person they did life with is now missing. Share love and sympathy with messages like these.

• “Please accept our deepest condolences on the loss of your wife. All of us at Smith, Smith, and Harry want you to know you have our support during this time.”
• “I'm so sorry for the loss of your wife. She was a gem and we will miss her presence at garden club."
• “We are praying for you during this difficult time. We're so sorry.”
• "I just want you to know that our whole family is thinking of you during this time, and we're here for you."
• “So much love to you and the rest of the family.”
• “Words are never enough. Even though your spouse may be gone, they'll never be forgotten.”
• “I've loved watching the love you and [Name] shared with each other. I'm so sorry for your loss.”
• “We just wanted you to know that we're here for you. Come over if you need anything. Love, Your Elm Street Neighbors.”

Condolence Messages for the Loss of a Parent

Perhaps you are trying to find a less formal way to offer sympathies to a friend or loved one after the loss of their parent. Here are some messages that offer compassion.

• "My heart goes out to you all. I am thinking of you and your family during this time."
• "Your mom was the best! I always loved visiting your house as a kid because I knew that your mom would invite me to dinner. She was a great cook and a wonderful host."
• "I hope the memories of your dad give you some solace as you mourn his loss."
• "Wishing you all peace and love following the loss of your dad."
• "Every time I saw your mom, she spent the first 20 minutes of the conversation showing me pictures of your family. She loved you all deeply and was very proud of you all."
• "Please extend my deepest sympathies to your entire family. I know they all must be heartbroken by your loss."
• "I wish I could be there to give you all hugs right now. I can't imagine what you are going through. I love you all!"
• "I consider myself lucky to have been able to spend some time with Sara on our trip to San Diego with the dance team. She was so much fun and had an amazing positive energy. I am so sorry that the world has lost this magnificent woman."

Deepest Condolences Quotes

Sometimes it's challenging to come up with the right words to share with someone who recently suffered a loss. If you don't know what to say, you might consider borrowing the words of authors, poets, songwriters, and other great thinkers who have shared their writing gifts with the world. But, of course, you should always attribute the quotes you share.

Here are some of our favorite quotes about grief and sympathy.

• "He that conceals his grief finds no remedy for it." – Turkish Proverb
• "The road through grief is a rocky one. Traveling along it requires courage, patience, wisdom, and hope." – Candy Lightner
• "Grief is still my advisor; sometimes it is a friend and reminds me of my humble place in the universe; opening life to the mysterious gifts of awe and gratitude. At other times it casts me down and turns my heart of stone." – Beth W. McLeod
• "Although it's difficult today to see beyond the sorrow, // May looking back in memory help comfort you tomorrow." – Unknown
• "Grief is a journey, often perilous and without clear direction, that must be taken. The experience of grieving cannot be ordered or categorized, hurried or controlled, pushed aside or ignored indefinitely. It is inevitable as breathing, as change, as love. It may be postponed, but it will not be denied." – Molly Fumia
• "Sorrow makes us all children again – destroys all differences of intellect. The wisest know nothing." – Ralph Waldo Emerson
• "A cut finger is numb before it bleeds; it bleeds before it hurts, it hurts until it begins to heal; it forms a scab and itches until finally, the scab is gone and a small scar is left where once there was a wound. Grief is the deepest wound you ever had. Like a cut finger, it goes through stages, and leaves a scar." – Unknown
• “‘When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.’ —Kahlil Gibran”

Deepest Condolences Email Examples

If you're unable to send a card, but you want to send more than a text or direct message, an email might the right option for you. Here are several examples to get you started.

Condolence email to a coworker

Dear Jennifer,

I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your grandmother. I want to offer my deepest condolences, and let you know that I'm here for you.

If there's any way I can help you during this time, please don't hesitate to let me know.

Thinking of you,

Angie

Condolence email to a friend

Dear Chase,

I can't imagine how hard this time is for you with Jenny's passing. I want you to know I'm here for you, and I'll be happy to help in any way I can.

Please know our family is thinking of you and the girls. Also, meals are incoming, so please don't worry about that for a while.

Here for you brother,

David

Condolence email to a family member

Dear Hannah,

I'm so sorry to hear that your sweet pup passed over the rainbow bridge. She was such a delightful animal and always brought smiles to my face when I was over at your house.

I'll be thinking of her for a long time to come. She may be gone, but she will always be remembered.

Love,

Bob

More Ways to Offer Condolences

Looking for more ways to send your condolences? Here are a few practical opportunities to support someone in the midst of their grief.

Offer practical help

If you're nearby and have a close enough relationship, there are a number of ways you might be able to help during the early days of someone's grief journey.

If they have small children, you can offer to babysit and give your friend or loved one some much needed time alone.

Consider bringing food to help them feed their family. Make sure to follow any dietary restrictions they may have, and keep it healthy.

Offer to do chores around the home or run errands for them. Chores and errands are the first things to get put off when grief overwhelms.

If they want company, offer to spend time with them. Just be with them, offer them an ear to listen or a shoulder to cry on if they'd like.

Send a gift

Gifts can provide comfort and encouragement when they are thoughtfully chosen. There are many options for sympathy gifts like customized photo blankets and picture frames. You could send a memorial tree if they like gardening and would like a living memorial for their loved one. You could even send a self-care sympathy basket to help them take care of themselves in the midst of their grief.

If your friend or loved one lost a pet, consider gifting them a pet keepsake to remember their beloved friend with.

Keep in touch

Offers of support, meals, and assistance often pour in right after a death. Several weeks later, however, and those offers tend to fade away even though the grief is just as strong as ever.

Send your friend or loved one a text, an instant message, or a phone call to let them know that you're still there, and they're still being thought of.

Deepest Condolences FAQ

Have a few more questions about this phrase and what it means? Here are three popular questions and their answers.

When did people start saying "deepest condolences"?

The word "condolence" has been in use since the early 1600s as a noun meaning "sympathetic grief; sorrowing with and for others." The word soon after came to be used as an outward expression of sympathy. According to the Oxford English Dictionary, the term was used in 1683 in the following manner: "A complement of condolence to your friend upon the death of his wife."

Eventually the term came to mean, "to commiserate, to feel pity, compassion or sympathy." Today, all of those meanings are used when we send our condolences after a friend or loved one experiences loss.

How should you respond when someone offers their deepest condolences?

If you're given a message of sympathy and condolences, you might be wondering what is expected of you.

Your friends and loved ones sent you a message because they want you to know they care about you. A simple 'thank you' or variation of that phrase is sufficient to let them know you received the message and you appreciate it.

How should you share a deepest condolences message?

How do you tell a friend, neighbor, extended family member, or coworker that you are sorry that their loved one died? Here are some examples of places to share a message of sympathy.

Online memorial page

Online memorial pages are gaining in popularity. Online memorial pages are designed to be shared with those who knew the deceased or their family members. For example, the family can use an online memorial page to make announcements regarding funeral services. In addition, users can post messages of sympathy or share memories of the deceased for all to see.

The benefit of using online memorial pages is that it doesn’t require users to have a social media account. It also may allow you to limit who has access to the content.

If your friend or extended family member provided you with a link to their loved one’s online memorial page, you could use this forum to share a condolence message.

At the visitation

Where do you offer condolences to the family of the deceased? Consider going to the visitation or wake and offering your sympathies in person.

We know that attending funerals may make you uncomfortable. Please know that you are not alone in your discomfort. However, going to one or all of the funeral services when a person passes is a kind thing to do. It shows support for those who are suffering, and it also honors the life of the person who passed.

Most of the time, you are able to speak directly to the family during the visitation or wake. However, this might not be as easy during a formal funeral service.

Social media post

It has become acceptable to offer sympathies on social media. However, please be considerate of when and how you do it.

If you are a Facebook user, don’t post a sympathy message for all to see on a friend’s page until they announce the death. They may still be trying to contact close family members and friends to tell them about the death of their loved one. It’s inconsiderate to share this news when those closest to the situation have not been informed.

After your friend shares the news of the death, you may comment with your message of condolences. You might consider sending a private message to your friend through DM or text.

Sympathy card

It’s not as common to send sympathy cards as it was in the past. However, sending a card is a kind act and should be considered if you need to offer your condolences to a friend.

Text message

A text message is a great way to communicate with someone from a long distance. Send a well-worded text message free of slang, emojis, and incorrect grammar, and your thoughtfulness will go a long way.

Phone call

Don't forget an old-fashioned phone call. Even if your friend or loved one doesn't pick up, you can leave a voice message to communicate your sorrow over their loss.

What Words Have Brought You Comfort?

If you lost someone you loved, you probably remember a card, text, or message that you received that stuck out from the others. What sentiment brought you comfort when you were sad?

Perhaps the message was from someone you haven’t connected with for a long time.

Maybe you received a message from someone who only knew the deceased. Perhaps the message enabled you to learn about a part of your family member’s work life that you never knew before.

Chances are that the most memorable message you received was one that shared a specific memory of your loved one. Most people love hearing stories about their family members who died. Consider this when sending condolences to your loved ones.

Sources:

1. "Condolences Meaning."Condolences,Oxford English Dictionary, n.d. Oed.com
2. Doka, Kenneth J. "The Loneliness of Grief." Loneliness,Psychology Today, 13 June 2019. Psychologytoday.com
3. "Healing Your Brain After Loss: How Grief Rewires the Brain."News and Events,American Brain Association, 29 September 2021. Americanbrainfoundation.org