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Life is an adventure. It’s a journey — sometimes a long and winding road, sometimes more of a crawl. Either way, your car isn’t going to take you there. You have to make all the big decisions that determine your ultimate destination. It isn’t easy. It has a way of finding ways to make us laugh (and cry). That’s why there are funny quotes about it. We’ve compiled the best funny quotes about life into one single post for you including funny life quotes, funny quotes for life, funny short quotes about life, funny quotes about life and love, very short funny quotes about life, funny quotes about life lessons, funny inspirational life quotes and funny life sayings.
Whether you’re going through something and need a little pick-me-up or looking for funny quotes about life to share with family and friends, you’ve come to the right place.
Check out our other life quotes for more, including Funny Quotes About Life Lessons, Short Quotes About Life, Inspirational Quotes About Life, Enjoy Life Quotes, Live Your Best Life Quotes, Life’s Good Quotes, Happy Quotes About Life , Life and Love Quotes, Love Your Life Quotes, Sad Quotes About Life and Life Changing Quotes.
Jump ahead to your favorite category or continue scrolling to find your favorite funny quote about life.
Table of Contents
Funny Quotes About Life
When it comes to life quotes, funny ones are often the best. These funny quotes about life will put a smile on your life.
“I’m sure the universe is full of intelligent life. It’s just been too intelligent to come here.” ― Arthur C. Clarke
“If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.” – Johnny Carson
“Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get.” — Forrest Gump
“Life is hard. After all, it kills you.” – Katharine Hepburn
“Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving.” ― Albert Einstein
“If at first you don’t succeed, quit. When life gives you lemons, quit. When the going gets tough, the tough just quit.” – Jim Rome
“We are stuck with technology when what we really want is just stuff that works.” ― Douglas Adams
“Life is too short to be reading quotes about life being too short. Stop reading and go live your life!” –Kevin Ngo
“Life is pain, highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something.” ― William Goldman
“Do things that make you happy within the confines of the legal system.” ― Ellen DeGeneres
“The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets.” – Al McGuire
“It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it’s called Life.” ― Terry Pratchett
“And remember, no matter where you go, there you are.” – Confucius
“Happiness is a warm puppy.” – Charles M. Schulz
“One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory.” – Rita Mae Brown
“Be happy. It really annoys negative people.” – Ricky Gervais
RELATED POST: Short Happy Quotes
Funny Life Quotes
Check out these funny life quotes.
“Everybody does have a book in them, but in most cases that’s where it should stay.” ― Christopher Hitchens
“Everyone has a purpose in life. Perhaps yours is watching television.” – David Letterman
“Life is hard; it’s harder if you’re stupid.” – John Wayne
“In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: it goes on.” ― Robert Frost
“If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss Bank.” ― Woody Allen
“Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings.” ― Robert Benchley
“There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.” ― Albert Einstein
“The only way to get through life is to laugh your way through it. You either have to laugh or cry. I prefer to laugh. Crying gives me a headache.” ― Marjorie Pay Hinckley
“The problem is that the people with the most ridiculous ideas are always the people who are most certain of them.” ― Bill Maher
“I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don’t even invite me.” ― Dave Barry
“Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I’ve done it thousands of times.” ― Mark Twain
“I’m very much down to earth, just not this earth.” ― Karl Lagerfeld
“To get back my youth, I would do anything in the world, except take exercise, get up early, or be respectable.” ― Oscar Wilde
“All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.” ― Blaise Pascal
“Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.” ― Will Rogers
“It’s better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than open it and remove all doubt” ― Mark Twain
“Mountains have a way of dealing with overconfidence.” – Hermann Buhl
RELATED POSTS: Funny Mountain Quotes and Funny Hiking Quotes
Funny Quotes for Life
You’ll love these funny quotes for life.
“Good friends, good books, and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.” ― Mark Twain
RELATED QUOTES: Life’s Good Quotes
“No intelligent idea can gain general acceptance unless some stupidity is mixed in with it.” ― Fernando Pessoa
“Don’t be so humble – you are not that great.” ― Golda Meir
“If you don’t know where you’re going, any road’ll take you there.” ― George Harrison
“Sometimes you climb out of bed in the morning and you think, I’m not going to make it, but you laugh inside — remembering all the times you’ve felt that way.” ― Charles Bukowski
“Life in a box is better than no life at all, I expect. You’d have a chance at least. You could lie there thinking: Well, at least I’m not dead.” ― Tom Stoppard
“If at first you don’t succeed then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.” ― Steven Wright
“Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It’s the transition that’s troublesome.” ― Isaac Asimov
“Those who believe in telekinetics, raise my hand.” ― Kurt Vonnegut Jr.
“A learning experience is one of those things that says, ‘You know that thing you just did? Don’t do that.” ― Douglas Adams
“Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming ‘Wow! What a Ride!’” ― Hunter S. Thompson
“The planet is fine. The people are f*#ked.” ― George Carlin
“When life gives you lemons, chunk it right back.” ― Bill Watterson
“Insanity is doing the same thing, over and over again, but expecting different results.” ― Albert Einstein
“We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be.” ― Kurt Vonnegut Jr.
“If it’s true that our species is alone in the universe, then I’d have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.” ― George Carlin
“If complete and utter chaos was lightning, then he’d be the sort to stand on a hilltop in a thunderstorm wearing wet copper armor and shouting ‘All gods are bastards!” ― Terry Pratchett
“Life is just one small piece of light between two eternal darknesses.” ― Vladimir Nabokov
“Growing old is mandatory. Growing up is optional.” ― Chili Davis
“I don’t necessarily agree with everything that I say.” ― Marshall McLuhan
Funny Short Quotes About Life
Take a look at these funny short quotes about life. Pick your best short funny quotes about life from the list below. You might also like our lists of Short Quotes About Life and Funny Short Quotes.
“When I was your age, television was called books.” ― William Goldman
“When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.” ― Cathy Guisewite
“All the world is made of faith, and trust, and pixie dust.” ― J.M. Barrie
“If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.” ― Woody Allen
“If you’re too open-minded; your brains will fall out.” ― Lawrence Ferlinghetti
“Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.” ― Elbert Hubbard
“Hooray! Hooray! The end of the world has been postponed!” ― Hergé
“This life’s hard, but it’s harder if you’re stupid.” ― George V. Higgins
“He who laughs last … just didn’t get the joke.” ― Carroll Bryant
“…personal torture instructor…I mean physical therapist.” ― Simone Elkeles
“For every minute you are angry you lose sixty seconds of happiness.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
“One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory.” – Rita Mae Brown
Funny Quotes About Life and Love
Find some of our favorite quotes about life and love here, then check out our lists of Short Love Quotes, Romantic Quotes and True Love Quotes.
“Age does not protect you from love, but love to some extent protects you from age.” – Jeanne Moreau
“Love is like pi – natural, irrational, and very important.” – Lisa Hoffman
“Love is something sent from heaven to worry the hell out of you.” – Dolly Parton
“At the touch of love everyone becomes a poet.” – Plato
“If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question?” – Lily Tomlin
“What the world really needs is more love and less paperwork.” – Pearl Bailey
“Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.” – H. L. Mencken
“Love is a lot like a backache, it doesn’t show up on X-rays, but you know it’s there.” – George Burns
“You know you’re in love when you can’t fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.” – Dr. Seuss
“Sometimes you know you’ve got a chance with a girl because she wants to fight with you. If the world wasn’t so messed up, it wouldn’t be like that. If the world was normal, a girl being nice to you would be a good sign, but in the real world, it isn’t.” ― Nick Hornby
“To answer your question, you want me because I’m made of awesome.” ― Gena Showalter
“A real girl isn’t perfect and a perfect girl isn’t real.” ― Harry Styles
“Failed relationships can be described as so much wasted make-up.” ― Marian Keyes
Very Short Funny Quotes About Life
These very short funny quotes about life will brighten up your day.
“Life would be tragic if it weren’t funny.” ― Stephen Hawking
“I’d rather be a rising ape than a falling angel.” ― Terry Pratchett
“Reality continues to ruin my life.” ― Bill Watterson
“Never miss a good chance to shut up.” ― Will Rogers
“Sane is boring.” ― R. A. Salvatore
“If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?” ― George Carlin
“Short cuts make long delays.” ― J.R.R. Tolkien
“Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.” ― Phyllis Diller
“A hangover is the wrath of grapes.” ― Dorothy Parker
“Plans are invitation to disappointment.” ― Derek Landy
Funny Quotes About Life Lessons
Be sure to check out the best funny quotes about life lessons in this collection.
“Life is what happens to us while we are making other plans.” ― Allen Saunders
“Life doesn’t imitate art, it imitates bad television.” ― Woody Allen
“I’ve had great success being a total idiot.” ― Jerry Lewis
“Books say: She did this because. Life says: She did this. Books are where things are explained to you; life is where things aren’t. I’m not surprised some people prefer books.” ― Julian Barnes
“All God does is watch us and kill us when we get boring. We must never, ever be boring.” ― Chuck Palahniuk
“People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.” ― A. A. Milne
“A word to the wise ain’t necessary, it’s the stupid ones who need advice.” ― Bill Cosby
“The only way Bex would miss this would be if she were unconscious. And tied up. And in a concrete bunker. In Siberia.” ― Ally Carter
“I can’t decide whether I’m a good girl wrapped up in a bad girl, or if I’m a bad girl wrapped up in a good girl. And that’s how I know I’m a woman!” ― C. JoyBell C.
“Pressure is something you feel when you don’t know what the hell you’re doing.” ― Peyton Mannin
“You know, sometimes kids get bad grades in school because the class moves too slow for them. Einstein got D’s in school. Well, guess what, I get F’s!!!” ― Bill Watterson
“If cats looked like frogs we’d realize what nasty, cruel little bastards they are. Style. That’s what people remember.” ― Terry Pratchett
“The funniest people are the saddest ones” ― Confucius
“When I was growing up I always wanted to be someone. Now I realize I should have been more specific.” ― Lily Tomlin
“Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.” – Benjamin Franklin
“To be stupid, selfish, and have good health are three requirements for happiness, though if stupidity is lacking, all is lost.” – Gustave Flaubert
“Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.” – Will Rogers
“You know, some people say life is short and that you could get hit by a bus at any moment and that you have to live each day like it’s your last. Bullsh*t. Life is long. You’re probably not gonna get hit by a bus. And you’re gonna have to live with the choices you make for the next fifty years.” – Chris Rock
Funny Inspirational Life Quotes
These funny inspirational life quotes will make you smile. You might also like our list of Inspirational Quotes About Life, Short Inspirational Quotes and Funny Inspirational Quotes.
“Life is a first impression. You get one shot at it. Make it everlasting.” – J.R. Rim
“Life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans.” — John Lennon
“Life is like a coin. You can spend it any way you wish, but you only spend it once.” — Lillian Dickson
“The art of life is to know how to enjoy a little and to endure very much.” – William Hazlitt
“I guess it comes down to a simple choice, really. Get busy living or get busy dying.” — Shawshank Redemption
“My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive.” – Maya Angelou
“And in the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It is the life in your years.” – Abraham Lincoln
“Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forward.” – Soren Kierkegaard
“You can’t live an exceptional life by being “normal.”” – Nick Maley
“Prediction is very difficult, especially about the future.” ― Niels Bohr
“Life is short and the older you get, the more you feel it. Indeed, the shorter it is.” – Viggo Mortensen
“Life is as easy or as hard as you think it is.”– Jonathan Lockwood Huie
“Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated.”—Confucius
“You’re only here for a short visit. Don’t hurry, don’t worry.” – Walter Hagen
“Life is short, and it is here to be lived.” —Kate Winslet
“There is no sunrise so beautiful that it is worth waking me up to see it.” ― Mindy Kaling
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“I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.” ― Douglas Adams
“Wisdom comes from experience. Experience is often a result of lack of wisdom.” ― Terry Pratchett
Funny Life Changing Quotes
Consider the following funny life changing quotes. Also check out our full list of Life Changing Quotes.
“There are things I can’t force. I must adjust. There are times when the greatest change needed is a change of my viewpoint.” —Denis Diderot
“Change yourself not others and have them watch you” ― Isaac Nash
“The greatest discovery of all time is that a person can change his future by merely changing his attitude.” – Oprah Winfrey
“To improve is to change; to be perfect is to change often.” – Winston Churchill
“I wanted to change the world. But I have found that the only thing one can be sure of changing is oneself.” – Aldous Huxley
“Life changes very quickly, in a very positive way, if you let it.” – Lindsey Vonn
If you like this quote head to our list of Positive Quotes About Life
“If you want things to change, you need to change and change things.” ― Aiyaz Uddin
“By changing nothing, nothing changes.” – Tony Robbins
“When in doubt, choose change.” – Lily Leung
“Change and adventurously ride the waves of life… or stay the same and drown in stagnancy. It’s your choice.” ― Steve Maraboli
“A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.” ― Winston S. Churchill
“When in doubt, ignore and be horribly unimpressed” ― Laurell K. Hamilton
“If the real world were a book, it would never find a publisher. Overlong, detailed to the point of distraction – and ultimately, without a major resolution.” ― Jasper Fforde
“I’m not afraid of death; I just don’t want to be there when it happens.” ― Woody Allen
“Sometimes I can hear my bones straining under the weight of all the lives I’m not living.” ― Jonathan Safran Foer
Funny Life Sayings
Here are the best funny life sayings. Choose which funny sayings about life resonate with your life best. Check out our list of our Funny Sayings for more.
“Laugh and grow fat.”
“Learn from your tears and you will win laughing.”
“Be all you can be and live a good life — have fun with it.”
“It’s a funny thing about life: if you refuse to accept anything but the best, you very often get.”
“When the postman rings twice, don’t answer it.”
“I have my moments, I just can’t remember where I put them.”
“It is better to weep with wise men than to laugh with fools.”
“When two friends dip into their purse, one laughs, the other cries.”
“Life was a funny thing that happened to me on the way to the grave.”
So that’s our list! We hope we’ve helped you find the best funny quote about life.
You might also want to check out our lists of Enjoy Your Life Quotes, Enjoy the Moment Quotes and Live Your Best Life Quotes.
If you have a favorite funny quote for life we missed, please let us know in the comments section.
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